Tempest in a Terlet
Ft Lauderdale, FL Mayor Jim Naugle issued a public apology on the steps of City Hall Tuesday afternoon, but it wasn’t the apology the gay community was looking for…..Naugle apologized for underestimating the problem of men having sex with each other in public restrooms, and urged people to call police to complain when they come upon it. He also said Broward County leads the nation in the incidence of new AIDS cases involving men having sex with men, and questioned whether the county tourism office should be welcoming them here. — Sun/Sentinel
I’m shocked, shocked. I had no idea that the homosexual infestation had achieved such proportions. Evidently, neither did the Ft Lauderdale police department: according to Sgt. Frank Sousa, “There’s no evidence, no reports or arrests made for any men having sex in any restrooms.”
This whole business got started (appropriately) with a discussion of toilets, and, as often happens when ignorant politicians air their pie-holes, immediately descended into complete bullshit. According to the Sun-Sentinel article noted above,
[Regarding] a proposed self-cleaning, automatic toilet the city was going to buy for the beach, Naugle said an added benefit would be that it would deter men from using it for “homosexual activity,” which he said was a problem in public restrooms. He also said he uses the term “homosexual” rather than “gay,” because gays are “unhappy.”
I’m floored by this revelation. Gays are “unhappy?” I immediately call my next-door neighbors, two gay men who have cohabitated for over 20 years, and demanded the whole truth and nothing but(t). ‘Fess up, faggots! The Mayor of Ft Lauderdale says you’re unhappy! Is that true?
“You mean now? Well, yeah,” they said.
Astonishing! How did Mayor Naugle know? Evidently scores of Lauderdalians have been phoning him daily, complaining that they fear allowing their children to visit beach restrooms
unaccompanied for fear of encountering glory-hole goings-on. “Everybody knows what happens in these restrooms,” the Mayor noted, grimly. “Don’t visitors to our beautiful beaches have the right to drain their dragons without fear? How can you aim your stream when you’re keeping an eye out behind you?”
Next week, the Mayor’s office plans to issue a proclamation banning sperm whales from the waters of Ft Lauderdale Beach. “”We trying to provide a family environment here,” it states. “Sperm is just so sticky-sticky boy-perv. It can’t be abided in a Christian community.”
Watching Jim Naugle morph into his predecessor Mayor Bob Cox — yes, “Cox” as in “uncontrollable homosexual erections gone wild in public restrooms” — who famously advocated pouring kerosene in trash cans to discourage homeless persons’ scavenging, and once told a 4th grade class at Dillard Elementary School that the sole requirements to become mayor was to be “free, white, and 21″ is eerie, if not outright creepy. Perhaps this is evidence that the shelf life of a shabby small-town politician is shorter than that of a lubricated prophylactic in a diner’s restroom dispenser. Oops! Another hotbed of homosexual humping? Stay tuned, America!
July 25th, 2007 at 5:08 am
So glad you posted this one. I dont know which is more of a fruitcake. The gays having sex in public restrooms or the Mayor himself. Seems like every time he opens his mouth he is putting his cock in it. Not his foot but his cock. What an idiot! And did you see Waymon Hudson, what a Queen he is on the news.
July 25th, 2007 at 7:54 am
The Mayor vs. the Queen, eh Mr Schwinkle?
What consenting adults do with their body parts is their own business. What the Mayor does with his mouth (etc) is the people’s business. In this case, he’s making himself and the entire city a national laughingstock. Again.
July 25th, 2007 at 8:05 am
I get it — you and the gay crowd think it’s okay to have sex in public restrooms, right? You’re FOR sex between consenting adult males in men’s rooms. The mayor’s wrong because he’s AGAINST men having sex with each other in public restrooms. Do I have it right?
July 25th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Two 13-year old boys from Oregon were charged with felony sex abuse and face 10 years in prison and a lifetime on the Sex Offender Registry for slapping their (female) classmates on their butts.
No doubt masturbation will soon be criminalized, too, because it objectifies women and may lead, with the aid of pornography, to an epidemic of butt-slapping among the nation’s young.
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/boys-face-trial-over-slapping-charges/20070724153509990001
July 25th, 2007 at 8:56 am
I’m really surprised by this whole episode. Lauderdale has been gay-friendly for a long time: when I lived there 15 years ago (Oakland Park, too) I could go anywhere and do anything without a hassle.
“ain’t sayin”: nobody, gay or straight, thinks sex belongs in public restrooms. What’s insane is the way Naugle is hyped up over something that even the cops are on record as saying isn’t a big problem, and turning it into a gay-bashing media fest. He went out of his way yesterday to grab attention and pour gas on the fire. Why?
July 25th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Mayor Naugle is a good Christian concerned for the sheep in his flock, the citizens and visitors to Ft Lauderdale. He courageously opposes practicing in public what the bible calls “an abomination.” For this he deserves praise, and for condemning him you’re going to hell.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:05 am
But I’ll pray for you. And for Fran G’panni as well. It’s what we Christians do: hate the sin, and love the sinner.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:13 am
So my question is, who the hell wants to fuck in a dirty public restroom anyway? No, I retract that question. I don’t want to know the answer.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Neil, when it comes to irritants, you’re the festering pustule of all time.
I’m not a Christian, or anything remotely similar, but I’m quite certain that the matter discussed here — sexual encounters among men in Ft Lauderdale restrooms — isn’t biblical in nature. The spin you (and others, like that flatulent hate-spewing Rev Oneal Dozier from Pompano who appeared beside Naugle) have put on it disrespects the god your worship and Christians unlike yourself who take their faith seriously.
I agree with Fran G’Panni’s comment: nobody thinks sex belongs in public restrooms. But the rare case that crops up is a matter for the police, not the church. Get your head out of the gutter. Or outhouse.
And stop wasting your prayers on me. Pious putzes like you only pray for your own asses, anyway.
July 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am
“Mayor Naugle is a good Christian concerned for the sheep in his flock….”
If I were you I’d leave sheep out of this discussion, Niel.
July 25th, 2007 at 11:36 am
I forgot about that redneck simpleton Bob Cox, former mayor/embarrassment of Ft Lauderdale.
My favorite Bob Cox story: He’s at a convention somewhere and an urgent telephone call comes into the hotel. He wasn’t anywhere to be found, so a bellboy was sent looking. Kid walks into the smoking lobby and calls out, “Bob Cox? Bob Cox here” No answer. He goes into the cafe, “Mr Cox? Is Bob Cox here?” Nope. Tries the barber shop. “Bob Cox here?” And the barber says, “Nah, none of that stuff. We just cut hair.”
July 25th, 2007 at 11:55 am
I too shall pray and pray for you, Klotz, just like I prayed and prayed that Naugle wouldn’t win. Then I prayed that if he won he’d give me a blow job in a beach rest room. Well, that didn’t work either, but I’ll keep praying fer ya.
As for Neil, he is, quite simply, a fucking idiot.
July 25th, 2007 at 11:58 am
In some ways however I do agree with Neil’s assessment of Mayor Naugle as a “good Christian”. He is probably nothing but a lying self deluded, self centered nutbag. As I always say, the minute they start screaming Jesus, “Hide your Livestock”
July 25th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Mayor Naugle took my job.