"Klotz" As In "Blood"

A Testament to the Insidious Impact of Florida Sunshine on Brain Matter

Thursday, May 17, 2007

One Size Fits All

Filed under: News from the Nation's Dicktip — Steve @ 12:45 am

Several years ago, Broward County allowed individual public schools to implement a uniform policy for their students. Basically, if a majority of parents give the school permission, then the school determines a dress code for the students, up to and including mandating uniforms. About 70% of Broward elementary and middle schools eagerly bought in.

The rule has generated its share of controversy. Its advocates maintain that uniforms help keep schools safer by making it easier to spot intruders, and that uniforms eliminate “fashion competition” and peer pressure. Desparagers counter that there’s no proof that school uniforms inspire either a safer or more productive environment for learning.

The matter is currently under review. “This comes down to whether or not you believe in freedom of expression,” said board member Robin Bartleman, who wants the policy changed. ”I believe in everything the United States was founded on,” [Chairwoman Beverly] Gallagher said. “I don’t think a kid in uniform violates their freedom of speech or their right to a free education or their freedom of anything else.”

duncecap.jpgIt’s much easier to huff and blow and wax outrageous over what kids wear to school than it is to balance a budget and ensure a decent education for kids. After all, this is a school board with members who are uncomfortable about teaching evolution.

“I like the kids in uniforms because it reinforces their understanding that expression, creativity, choice, and individualism are counter-productive,” explains board member Bea Hynde. “In today’s world and in the immediate future, people who just follow in lockstep and do what they’re told will prosper. And we’re all about prosperity.”

“If parents really wanted their kids to think for themselves,” argues the board’s senior member, Tara Raboomdier, “Why would they dump them in Broward public schools? Why would they even wean their larvae anywhere in Florida?”

The same line of thought underlies the board’s successful program to eliminate art, music, and theater education from the curriculum. “Subject matter like that only engenders creative thinking,” notes Hynde. “The last thing we want is kids letting their imaginations run wild. That kind of crap leads to Colombine type chaos and tragedy. And worse yet: lower FCAT scores!”

“Order and obedience make for a much better learning environment,” agrees Raboomdier. “You let kids wear what they want, next thing you know they wanna read books not on the roster, form clubs we don’t approve of, and maybe even think thoughts we haven’t taught them. What the Sam Hill kind of society would we have if we surrendered THAT much control?”

In a show of solidarity, next week board members, administrators, and faculty in favor of uniforms will wear matching dunce caps. “We want to make a lasting statement,” says Gallagher. “We want people to notice.”

13 Responses to “One Size Fits All”

  1. the masspube Says:

    I saw a film once all about high school girls in uniforms, but not for long. It was called “Babes in Boyland” and if thats how the Broward girls turn out, I say, bring out the pleated shirts…TODAY!

    Broward County is debating evolution, you wrote. I can actually understand. Sounds like most of the school board missed it and it’s my pleasure to blame their freaking ignorance on Jeeee-Zussssss….rather than Darwin

  2. glennk Says:

    LOL! The anti-spam checker made me spell system, how ironic as well as appropriate. Which leads me to the whole uniform thing. As a parent with a kid in H.S. I like uniforms. I also think the kids should be hand cuffed when they arrive at school to stop them from shooting and knifing each other and the teachers. Schools today are to prepare 1/2 of the kids for prison and the other half for life in Corp. Amerika ( same thing without benefits 🙂 what better way then uniforms, metal detectors, strip searches and hand cuffs to get them all ready for the future?

  3. We're So Right Says:

    Uniforms are ingrained in American culture. The army issues uniforms. So do the navy, airforce, marines, and coast guard. Boy scouts, girl scouts, private schools. Baseball and football teams. They do it for the pleasing appearance and sense of team identity. Why do you hate America?

  4. Hugh Bris Says:

    We’re So Right: You’re So Wrong.

    With the possible exception of private schools, the reason Broward County (and others) implemented the uniform policy is quite apart from the reasons the organizations you list have uniforms. And there’s no evidence that a kid wearing a uniform in school does any better, acts any better, or feels any better than one who doesn’t.

    I don’t think a kid should be forced to wear a uniform any more than a kid should be prohibited from doing it. I think the kid (and family) ought to be free to choose, and everybody else respect that choice.

    Why do you hate freedom?

  5. Dayngr Says:

    Yeah, uniforms are the big issue today. Good thing they have their priorities straight!

  6. Lois Terms Says:

    Prisoners and asylum inmates wear uniforms, too.

  7. Gabriel J. Lopez-Bernal Says:

    I’m against school uniforms because it violates kids freedom of expression, a right granted by the constitution. The Uniform system attempts to address issues which can only be resolved through better parenting and a better education system- behavior and classroom performance. I’m glad parents have the option to “waive” their kids uniform requirement- something I will surely do if/when it ever comes down to it…Most importantly it teaches kids to be unoriginal, much like the FCRAP has done for the education system by forcing kids to not think outside the box…

  8. Ray Ed Gneck Says:

    You Miami liberals just don’t get it. The only rights kids have is the ones their parents give them. What the parents say, goes. At least, that’s the way it should be, but then we have all these ‘experts’ who tell us different.

    School uniforms are a way to remind kids that they’re supposed to behave, obey, and grow up respecting authority. As they do that they get more rights and privileges, if they don’t, the next uniform they get is a red welted butt.

    Reason there’s so much trouble in schools is lack of discipline, and that’s because of soft liberal parents who lost control. Like you find in cities like Miami.

  9. The Shogun Of Kendall Says:

    ““I like the kids in uniforms because it reinforces their understanding that expression, creativity, choice, and individualism are counter-productive,” explains board member Bea Hynde. “In today’s world and in the immediate future, people who just follow in lockstep and do what they’re told will prosper. And we’re all about prosperity.”

    Ok…did anyone read this quote? Is this person on f**kin crack! Does Bea Hynde even understand that anyone who has had success or made an impact in this world is because of creativity, expression, and individualism? If everyone would just stay in line there would be no goddamn progress or advancements in the arts and sciences. The world would definitely become an Orwellian nightmare. They should kick Ms.Hynde’s ass out of the board… she is either really stupid or a closet fascist.

    I understand the point of having uniforms, but the reasons should definitely not be about harvesting robots that “do what they’re told”.

  10. The Cowboy Fo The Crossings Says:

    lol…is Bea Hynde even a real name? Samurai, I think Klotz made that name up… like I.P. Freehley. Bea Hynde = behind?

  11. I.P. Freehley Says:

    I don’t know who you are, Cowboy, but I resemble that crack. I mean, remark.

  12. Madam I Says:

    I say let them go neked. First we’ll use less water, no washin of school clothes. Second they can shut off the ac units, open the windows and save the taxpayers all that electricity being expended. And third, the only weapons being packed will be johnsons! Nuff said..

  13. Billy Bob Rufus Says:

    MadamI is that a pundit? neked, johnson, news from the dicktip, one size fits all? I may be mistaken and had too much pizzabeer…

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