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Friday, March 16, 2007

Weekend Pizza

Filed under: Sense & Sensuality — Steve @ 4:01 pm

Pizza_Rustica-resized200.gifOkay, since nobody gives a squeezed zit about Attorney General Bonaparte wiping his ass with the US Constitution, here’s something closer to home: Pizza Rustica opened a place in downtown Hollywood. Evidently this was something rumored for a while, and anticipated with great optimism.

The address is 1928 Hollywood Blvd. Call 954 923 3878. When I sampled a slice on Wednesday, they told me that was their third day of business.

Miamians hate it when people them how much better (fill in the blank) is back in (fill in the blank) where they came from. As in, “The pizza in New York is much better than this.” (True. And the rats are bigger, too. But we have ‘WAY better cockroaches). So I’ll state the obvious: the best pizza in the United States is in South Philadelphia, and the lame gloppy stew served on triangular cardboard we get here ain’t even a distant cousin.

IMHO, while Pizza Rustica’s fare isn’t really pizza, it’s still pretty good. Call it a grinder, or an open-faced baked sandwich, or a duded up tomato pie, I don’t care. As such, it’s tasty. It just ain’t what us purists call “pizza.”

On the other hand, a half a block east you’ll find Mauro’s Pizza, as plain and pedestrian a pizza counter as you’ll find anywhere up north. It’s real pizza, unadorned, nice consistency and flavor, served hot by the slice on a paper plate. I much prefer it to P-R, but that’s like comparing mayonnaise to Worcestershire: maybe they’re both condiments, but that’s where the commonality ends.

pizza3_L.jpgIn any event, I’m glad they’re in Hollywood, because rather than one driving the other out of business, I think their presence will increase the demand for the product. And as a dedicated consumer of pizza (if spoiled by decades of eating South Philly’s finest), the more places, choices, and styles, the better.

Welcome to town!

PS A special place in hell is reserved for the creators of that gross “Hawaiian pizza” with the pineapple and crumbled smegma fer chrissake. What’re they thinking? And who eats that crap on purpose?

20 Responses to “Weekend Pizza”

  1. joel Says:

    Speaking as a displaced American currently living in northern Italy (Vicenza), allow me to say that I take a shit on S. Philly pizza. Once you’ve had pizza from the old country, nothing else comes close.

    Now that’s a spicy meata-ball!!

  2. Little Caesar Says:

    Eat me.

  3. Steve Says:

    Joel: I was very careful to write that South Philly had the best pizza in the United States PRECISELY because I suspect it’s a thousand times better in Italy, which, sad to say, I’ve never experienced myself.

    So when you return, please bring me one…..or better yet, send 2 tickets over to your place and Guido and I will take you guys out for a pizza dinner.

  4. Beardsley Says:

    After spending years in Boston (a city that offers very good food), and devouring pizza twice a week during seminars and late-into-the-night faculty meetings and the like, I conclude that New England’s pizza is about half as good as New York’s (which requires Tabasco sauce; an indication of its weakness) and a tenth as good as Philly’s. So I agree with you, Steve. By and large, the pizza here in south Florida is similar to New York’s, but ‘way short of that. Tabasco doesn’t even help.

    Now Chicago pizza — that’s a whole ‘nother ball game and damn, damn good. But a different animal as well.

  5. Sal & Sol Says:

    South Florida pizza isn’t shit. It’s toast. And Little Seizures pizza isn’t even that.

    You’re right about Rustica “not being pizza,” but it’s a good meal. Same thing goes on in California. They have “pizza” with gouda cheese and smoked duck. Brie and watercress. WTF? But it’s tasty and interesting, even if it isn’t “pizza.”

  6. Chi Girl Says:

    Chicago pizza is as wonderful as the Cubs are hopeless.

  7. the masspube Says:

    Ain’t nothin like a Chicago pizza anyways…everything else is a poor substitute.

  8. nonsense Says:

    attorney general bonaparte the fbi guy? what an intro sir. random like this post altogether!

  9. Mayo Naisse Says:

    You know, I’ve been turning tricks on Biscayne for years and no one ever dissed on my pineapple. Hmpf.

  10. Dr. Annie Steelclit Says:

    This blog has mentioned smegma several times lately. A disturbing sticky issue if there ever was one.

  11. Smegma Licious Says:

    So typical. I mean you think you can have me wrapped around your thumb or something. Hmpf.

  12. CB Says:

    BBQ Chicken
    Tomato Basil

    are all fantastic from Rustica.

    They just opened one on Sunrise and Federal in Ft Laud too I believe. They already have one at Oakland Park and the ocean.

    Went to Gino’s East in Chicago last weekend. Good, but you can eat a slice, maybe too. The crust is like a dessert pie, and has to be filled with butter. A knife and fork are needed and the cheese, sauce and crust all mash together into a soupy mess. If Rustica isn’t pizza, that ain’t pizza.

  13. Pauly Says:

    Great god. Who the hell in their right mind puts barbecue chicken on a pizza. Why not beef wellington while you’re at it? Or cream cheese and lox?

    I’ve been in the pizza business for 34 years, had half a dozen places in Jersey that I started and sold. You want real pizza, this is where you come. Whatever else you’re talking about just ain’t pizza.

  14. Pauly Says:

    by the way, Joel: before you “shit on” south Philly pizza, have you ever tasted it first (the pizza, not the shit). I been in Italy a dozen times and had pizza all over, some good, some bad, but none that ever beat Marra’s on Passyunk Avenue, or Tocanneli in Northern Liberties, or Celebres in south Philly, and a hundred more neighborhood counters nobody ever heard of.

  15. Mark Upp Says:

    You got a lotta crust, dissin’ Pizza Rustica.

  16. Hollywood Hal Says:

    The wife and me checked out the ArtsPark at Young Circle opening celebrations this weekend (great job, by the way: the city got something right!). Then we strolled on down to check out the pizza. We got a slice at Mauro, then we got a slice at Pizza Rustica. Both good. Both real different. Happy to have ’em both.

  17. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    up yours Steve-o…. Hawaiian Pizza is great! Anything but one of those garbage pies covered with everything but the kitchen sink!

  18. Dayngr Says:

    The best pizza I’ve found in So Fla is, believe it or not, in Hialeah. A little Italian family-owned restaurant called Di Piazza. These folks are old school and from the old country. They’ve been Hialeah forever and a day and do a booming business.

    Check em out if you’re even in the area. They are just a few blocks from the Palmetto Expressway and fantabulous Westland Mall.

    Di Piazza
    1408 W 49th Street
    (305) 558-8412

  19. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    Villa Rose on 441 in Hollywood, hands down better than anything over hear close to Hollyweird Beach or Dania Bitch.

  20. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    also Pudgies Pizza http://www.pudgiespizza.net

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