Balls
I’m not gonna dignify ‘em by providing citations, but there’s
been some truly ungrateful and deprecating remarks about the ACLU on teh local internets, and those of us blessed with a full package aren’t pleased: it’s bad enough that the limp-wristed liberal establishment beats up on us, I really don’t want to hear Spanglish whining, too.
So, as yet another example of how the ACLU is on the side of freedom, justice, and the American fucking way:
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.
The measure was filed in the General Assembly Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., R-Washington, who says children shouldn’t be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban depictions of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.
“It’s time to take a stand,” Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.
The American Civil Liberties Union objected to Myers’ bill. — Local 6
Of course the extravagantly testicular ACLU would object: this gets them where they live. Only the ACLU has the raw balls to take on such diverse forces as reactionary right, politically correct left, Christians, Muslims, communists, congressmen, etc. Hanging balls from your rear bumper is constitutionally protected speech. It’s who they are. What it’s all about. God fucking damn it.
(The concept is completely alien in south Florida. We accept that going into the discussion. Right?)
Personally, I wouldn’t hang plastic bull testicles from my car bumper. It’s Janet Reno’s or nobody’s, know what I mean? Or maybe Condi Rice. But this is a mater of taste, god forgive the pun, and taste is one of those many areas the goddam government needs to steer clear of.
Fuck off, Maryland! Let the Free State drivers hang plastic balls from their bumpers if that’s what primes their pumps! Besides, elsewhere across the fruited plain, they’re not “balls,” they’re “Rocky Mountain oysters.” Have some regional respect.
Where are you, CheersVictoria?
February 26th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Yes, but imagine the innovation this ban would spurr in the non-bodypart bumper hangers industry.
February 26th, 2007 at 7:33 am
I wanted to hang a chrome clitoris from my pickup, but damn it, I couldn’t find it anywhere…and believe me I looked.
February 26th, 2007 at 8:20 am
People hate me.
February 26th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Masspube: No doubt we’ll hear from Dr. Annie Steelclit herself later on today, who might have the solution to your quest.
February 26th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I don’t know where you dig up your wack-o information, but everybody knows the ACLU are a pack of commies. They’re always stirring up trouble for the majority of us who have a sense of right and wrong.
February 26th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Where I come from, we hang the ACLU’s balls from our bumpers. If we can even find the little guys.
February 26th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Okay, hanging plastic bulls balls from a bumper is constitutionally protected free speech. Is this worth the fight?
February 26th, 2007 at 11:40 am
MassPube, unfortunately, my private collection of chrome clitori is currently on exhibit at the Guggenheim in NY; however, perhaps Steve could pick rubber vagina at one of Dania’s fine porn shops and ship it to you?
February 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am
If you hang testicles from your car, does that make you a dick?
February 26th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Greek Philosopher: Yes.
February 26th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
The ACLU can go to hell and make everybody a whole lot of happy. “Constitutionally protected free speech” my hairy chapped ass. There’s such a thing as right and wrong and decent and indecent and most of us can tell the difference without their help. Burning flags is indecent and wrong. Naked testicals hanging from a bumper is indecent and wrong. Plain and simple as that. They need to get the hell out of people’s lives and let us run the world the way we see fit.
February 26th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Okay…..I know who Redland Gneck is because we spoke last month about the flag display in Gainesville. So Red, who’s “Redmond Gneck?” Kin of yours? Or maybe you have trouble spelling your name?
February 26th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Hey Steve, how long you lived here? There’s a whole lotta Gnecks running around loose in Florida!
February 26th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
If the car gets blue balls, then you have to suck on the carburator.
February 26th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Redmond and I are cousins…..guess he stayed curious about this blog business after that time you wrote about the commie flags in the school here in Gainesville. He’s got a brother Raymond (goes by “Ray Ed”) who’s involved in the Americans 4 America movement.
You’re a wise-ass High Bris but you happen to be right about the number of Gnecks around here, something you should keep in mind if you ever come by this way.
March 3rd, 2007 at 9:51 am
It seems that the ACLU will object to anything and everything while trying to convince us it is for our own civil liberties, for our own good. They should worry about what is going on inside their own org with their own people before they take on the rest of the USA.
March 5th, 2007 at 12:40 am
“children shouldn’t be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches.”
Or from livestock. Close the petting zoos down.
March 5th, 2007 at 9:22 am
Amazing that people have a problem with a joke item like a set of plastic nuts, but don’t put up a single squawk about the genuine horrorshow of violence, disease, and perversion we call television. Or, for that matter, what goes on in the streets outside their house, unless it impacts them directly.
I’m with the ACLU on this one, but I sure wish it wasn’t there at all.