Face It
Good jokes are tough to come by. Sample a vintage 1998 from presidential contender Senator John McCain:
This one came back to me when I encountered this charming tale from the animal world:
Over the past decade, a form of cancer has killed almost three out of four Tasmanian devils, the world’s largest marsupial carnivore and inspiration for the cartoon character Taz.
Animals with the disease develop tumors on their heads and in their mouths, making it difficult for them to eat. Most animals die within months of the lesions appearing, often from starvation.
Hamish McCallum, chief scientist of the Devil Facial Tumor Program, says they suspect that the disease is spread when cancer cells are passed between animals, usually by biting. “The best hypothesis is that it is transmitted as part of biting, and most of the biting happens at the time of mating,” he said. – International Herald Tribune
Even if you’re a vicious-looking marsupial, enduring a face-devouring virus doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. Yet my first thought was the Chelsea joke (and my second was, Maybe we found Mary Cheney’s sperm donor. Has she been checked for facial bites?).
Vicious looking beasts tormented by gross disfiguring forces beyond their control while the world looks on, largely impassive. Not a pleasant commentary. And evidently it’s just as bad in the animal world, too.
February 23rd, 2007 at 6:12 am
Mr Klotz, that isnt a photo of a Tasmanian devil, you have had too much Tequila again! That is a photo of the rare elusive Wild Walagora! Just ask Steve Erwin, oh wait a minute, he is dead. Nevermind, have a shot in honor of his memory.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:14 am
Actually, it’s how I imagine Mumblety Peg looks. Before her make-up, of course.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 am
That John McCain! Can he tell a joke or what? Maybe John Kerry should’ve taken lessons!
Anyway, while I don’t agree with everything he says, he certainly is articulate. Clean, too.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am
Wow! Janet Reno porked Hilary? Is that really true? All kidding aside.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 am
McCain eventually apologized for that rude remark, but plainly the damage was done and the “joke” lingers like a foul odor. Which brings us to Hollywood Hal, my Dickless Pal, who never sees a woman without make-up because he’s never there to see her in the morning.
Men are such pigs.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:42 am
That joke was probably even funnier in McCain’s original German. Meanwhile, Ted End: wanna buy some choice Florida swampland real estate?
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Otto just remember that all that land that is now Walt Disney World was close to being swamp land. Hold on to if for a few more years.
February 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Okay, Peg, maybe I have it backwards: you DON’T resemble that snarling fungus-faced creature. Maybe it looks like the kind of guy you need — somebody to give you a solid clubbing before dragging you by your hair back to his love cave. Same kind my ex favored. Psycho sicko. You and she would get along swell.
February 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Had you not stated that the creature in the photo is a Tasmanian devil, I would have thought it was a Hungarian girl on her wedding day.
M Schwinkel: what is a “walagora?” I find nothing about this animal on the internet.
February 23rd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
That IS a Hungarian bride, Pierre. Turn around and let her hump you like you’re used to.
Holy pyjamas. Another scintillating Friday afternoon session on teh internets.
February 23rd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
A cancer-causing hickey? Preposterous!
February 23rd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Annie: make that pre-pus-tulous.
February 23rd, 2007 at 5:43 pm
What happens when you cross the current George W with a Tasmanian Devil…..You get a stupid Tasmanian Devil who’ll do anything to save face!
February 25th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
I need to print up a bunch of business cards that list “Devil Facial Tumor Program” as my employer, then go to a networking meeting with a bunch of evangelicals.
February 25th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
NFK: the word “facial” all by itself would probably inspire cerebral strokes among most evangelicals. In other words, do this and take a camera. I’ll post the film (if somebody shows me how!).
February 27th, 2007 at 7:29 am
“Devil Facial Tumor Program”? Is this for real? And the fact that the “chief scientist” is quoted implies there are more than one scientist. How many do you supose it takes for such research? All this is quite amusing until you stop to think about the implications here; CANCER IS CONTAGIOUS & CAN BE CONTRACTED FROM A BITE. That’s just a little too scary. But if it’s true let’s lettum loose in the White House.
September 1st, 2009 at 1:33 am
Look up www.fooking.ca
These guys are contributing to save the Tasmanian Devil