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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

She’ll Never Be Known As Lefty

Filed under: Sense & Sensuality — Steve @ 12:12 am

Old fart than I am (and have been since a teenager), the whole idea of pierced body parts, tattoos, and other innovative varieties of mutilation never appealed to me. Not that I think of the body as a temple — more like a playground, actually, and who wants to play where there are crevices to trip in or sharp objects to rip you up?

So when this story came across, well, you’ll see in a flash:

Teen loses breast in piercing nightmare

A teenager who decided to get her breasts pierced for her 18th birthday faces reconstructive surgery after a flesh-destroying infection forced doctors to remove her left breast.

Stephanie Edington of Crawfordsville [IN], who had the piercings done at Neon Novelty as “a spontaneous thing”, experienced redness and tenderness in the affected area, along with some leakage, a few weeks afterwards.

She contacted the person who did the piercings, who suggested she wash the area with soap and water……However the pain worsened, and she was taken to the emergency room at St Clare Medical Centre in Indianapolis with an infection.

She was transferred two days later to the Indiana University Medical Centre, where surgeons also removed lymph nodes and infected skin up to her collarbone. — theage.com.au

Egad. She wouldn’t have settled for a nice pair of shiny nipple clamps? The whole story made for a great Halloween saga lastnipple-clamps-1.jpg night.

Years back, when Guido considered belly button jewelry, I told her I’d have my dickhead pierced in response. Ultimately she decided against it (she’s fond of her teeth). I was bluffing, of course. But imagine my relief.

Here are two excellent treatments of the body mutilation headset: the Ellen Jamesians in The World According to Garp, who remove their own tongues in the cause of feminism, and the Arturians in Katherine Dun’s amazing and underrated novel, Geek Love, who amputate their body parts in homage to Arturo Brinewski, a charismatic circus freak.

We now return to our regular programming.

10 Responses to “She’ll Never Be Known As Lefty”

  1. Not My Real Name Says:

    Not that I personally have the slightest interest for myself, of course, but where are the three best places in Miami to buy nipple clamps?

  2. Dayngr Says:

    WOW! I remember when double piercing your ears was rebellion enough.

  3. Dr. Annie Steelclit Says:

    Boob Depot has a sale right now!

  4. Living Will Says:

    I dated two girls, one for over a year, with nipple rings. Personally I thought it was sexy as hell, except on real cold nights. I thought about having it done to myself, but a flash of sanity prevailed. I still find it a turn-on.

  5. Camiel Toe Says:

    Hey Dayngr! I remember when double-piercing a GIRL was a rebellion! Now there’s hand-held machines for that at Wal-Mart.

  6. S.H. Goi Says:

    Wow that must have been one hell of an infection. Didn’t it hurt? But then again I guess if you can tolerate a nipple piercing you can tolerate a lot of pain & discomfort. Well all I can say is shit happens, get over it.

  7. Mark Foley Says:

    Guys with pierced nipples turn me on, too, Living Will! So, where do you unload it?

  8. Ted End Says:

    Until today, I always thought it was “nipple CLAMS.” Never did figure out what it meant. But now I know! Thanks, people!

  9. A helpful friend Says:

    To address the first actual question, I don’t think there really is a good place in Miami where you can find a “selection” of nipple clamps.

    Thank goodness for the internet: http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/nipple_clamps.html

    Blowfish is one of the best xxx sites – humorous reviews, good prices, and an array of products that’ll make your jaw drop with the possibilities…

  10. Helen Highwater Says:

    “Nipple clams.” OMG. I sure hope for his own sake Ted End isn’t allowed to handle anything sharper than a hard boiled egg. Peeled.

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