"Klotz" As In "Blood"

Today’s the big day! The following post, admirably composed and 100% within the spirit of the blog on which it appears, is written and designed by Paula of MangoandLime. Welcome Paula, and Have At It!!

A Texas doctor is taking a new approach… to give women more control over their new shape. San Antonio plastic surgeon Thomas Jeneby says nine out of ten women who get breast augmentation say later they wished they’d gone bigger…….So his solution is an adjustable breast implant. ~ CBS news

Mammiferous Floridians, be proud. The adjustable breast enhancements were invented right here in Florida in the mid-1980s to help indecisive or insecure women everywhere, although few doctors practice it.

Booborific Sally explains. “There’s, like, this little rubber thingy with a tube attached to the implant, like, so you can add more liquid; it’s like a water balloon, you know?”

Imagine the consequences… Ogling Omar in Hialeah was recently caught in drama worthy of a telenovela when two of his exes went into a “who’s-got-bigger-boobs” battle for his love. “It was tough, man. Just when I thought I had made up my mind, bigger beauties came my way. That’s no way to treat a man’s heart.” The ladies are still going at it to see who can go bigger before the six-month inflate-deflate period runs out.

There’ll be women running to their surgeon when they start dating a new man so they can increase or decrease cup size to please him. Because they love him.

It’s already been reported that designer stores in “augmentation capitals” – Southern California, Texas and Florida – carry larger sizes to accommodate bigger bosoms. And they can certainly capitalize on women’s indecision when it comes to breast size. They’ll have them coming back to shell out more on their credit card after each saline solution content change.

Then there’s the shrinking Miami minority whose upper bodies don’t resemble Barbie’s. Poor them. They might soon have to hit specialty stores to dress their God-given breasts. It’s been announced that the first “No Plastic Parts” store is set to open in 2007 for the au naturals — as if having boyfriends and husbands drool over almost bare spheres while you walk down Lincoln Road wasn’t enough.

As more Miami doctors start to embrace this Florida invention, the Miami Plastic Surgery Tourism Board estimates a sharp increase in boob-enhancement travel to Miami. If you’re among those who’s planning on it, here’s a good guide on what to ask for, because after all, “having breast augmentation in Miami only to find out that’s not what you really wanted is not a very bright idea.”

If this has at all convinced you that you need to switch over from natural to plastic, be glad that to keep your size options open, you need just add $100 and five to ten minutes more under the knife.