"Klotz" As In "Blood"

A Testament to the Insidious Impact of Florida Sunshine on Brain Matter

Friday, July 7, 2006

Vamos to Miami

Filed under: News from the Nation's Dicktip — Steve @ 12:13 am

As has been widely reported (and see the ongoing thread at SotP), a second book in the Miami-Dade County school system is under attack for misrepresenting life in Cuba. The plaintiff, a Broward resident (curiously), wants “Cuban Kids” by George Ancona removed.

In an interesting variation, an activist in the ultra-liberal city of Minneapolis, MN has initiated proceedings to remove a book from the Anoka-Hennepin County School District. The Spanish language book, Vamos to Miami, depicts life and children in Florida’s largest city as “happy, contented, and free,” maintains the plaintiff, Sandahl Berkinstock, “which so horribly distorts reality, and so myopically describes their meager existence under an oppressive regime” to be unworthy of display in county schools.

The book has been available for a dozen years. Aimed at 2nd and 3rd graders, it describes Miami as a subtropical city where children play among palm tree lined streets, visit the white sands of nearby beaches, and enjoy the food, music, and customs of many diverse cultures, particularly Latin American.

Sample: “Many people now living in Miami arrived only recently, and remember their lives in countries very different from America. They speak languages other than English, such as Spanish, Creole, and Portuguese, and proudly share traditions with their beloved children and grandchildren.”

Ms. Berkinstock singles out this passage as problematic. “Where’s the mention of the prejudice these pioneers encountered when they first arrived?” she asks. “What about the pressure to stop speaking their native language, to become ‘Americanized,’ to assimilate without regard to their own strong ethnic ties?”

She wants the book to take notice of the corrupt Anglo establishment that labored to isolate keep Cubans from Miami’s economic and political power centers. She believes, for accuracy’s sake, there should be drawings of “NO HABLA ESPANOL” signs in the windows of downtown stores. She points out how the book omits any mention of desperate Cuban emigres, seeking sympathy for their cause, forced to plant bombs under the cars of museum directors and Spanish language radio hosts whose politics they found obnoxious in order to achieve political equality.

“And where are the facts regarding the treatment of Miami’s Black citizens?” she demands. “Why, they even got Arthur McDuffy’s birthday wrong by an entire day!”

She maintains that by mentioning how most Miami children attend public schools, where they’re entitled to free education, lunch, and after-school activities, the book fails to discuss how sub-standard those schools are, and how murderous the streets surrounding them can be. “How can you describe a child happily walking to school when the drive-by shooting rate in the city exceeds that of Islamabad?” she wants to know.

“And there’s absolutely no mention of the fact that the US Constitution and Bill of Rights have been suspended by the county’s own school board and commission! With the blessing of the governor!” she fumes.

“Reading this book, with all the pretty pictures of Black, Latin, and Anglo children playing together, one gets the sense that Miami is a happy place where people of all backgrounds get along. What a terrible message to send our children! It’s not like that at all! It’s a lie!

“Calling Miami a child’s tropical paradise is like calling Dante’s Inferno Club Med,” she asserts.

Approached for assistance, the ACLU has not yet determined whether it will step in. “We’re researching it,” affirmed one intern, who asked not to be identified. “And so far, in Minnesota anyway, we haven’t come up with any request for counsel quite as hare-brained as this one. But Minnesota has almost as many annoying liberals as mosquitoes, so we’re still looking.”

19 Responses to “Vamos to Miami”

  1. Hose B Says:

    And don’t forget: those poor little kids in Miami have never seen snow! What kind of awful government doesn’t let kids play in snow?! Ban that book!

  2. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    Why do I have to press 1 to speak English? I didnt when I was a kid but I do when I am an adult. I dont want to fucking press 1 to speak English or hear the message in English. This is America!

  3. Sean Says:

    Well you’re a grown lad now Mr Tinkle, and Miami isn’t a kid anymore either, and your America has evolved into a place where many people live and speak different languages, and businesses want their money so they make themselves consumer-friendly. Cushlomochree what a concept. It’s not just about you, laddie boy, and ne’er it was nor will be again.

    So don’t press 1 to speak English. Press your thumb into your ass and your finger in your nose and your nuts against the asphalt. That’s where you and the other village idiots will be, wiggling your fingers, when life’s locomotive of change rolls by and leaves you covered with the cinders and soot of the past.

  4. Ted End Says:

    I don’t get it either, Mr Sinkhole. What’s the problem with pressing 1? Would the pound key be okay? Or 2? And lots of times you can just say 1 instead of pressing 1. I like it when it does that so I order lots of things.

  5. Manola Blablablanik Says:

    Fuckin’ cheesehead! Only melting pot she knows is fondue!

  6. Otto Moe Beal Says:

    What’s the story on this Rosenthal guy, a Broward resident (and evidently not Cuban), getting involved in this second book banning? Is he some kind of outside agitator? Miami has enough foaming lunatics already, it doesn’t need to import any.

  7. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    Remember when our grandparents came to this country and were proud when they learned English and busted their asses working to support their families? Ah screw it, its my birthday today and I am gonna do whatever I want!

  8. You May Call Me Pierre Says:

    English, Spanish, yes. But if you don’t speak French, you’re not a human being.

  9. JJ Says:

    Vamos to Miami is one of a series of children’s books in Spanish we (elementary school teachers) use in the A-H School District to help orient Latin children to life in America, focusing on cities all across the United States — Chicago, St, Louis, New York, San Francisco, etc., about 18 titles by now. Insofar as Miami isn’t an American city, it probably shouldn’t have been included, (although a new volume on Toronto is scheduled for the fall). That may be another reason Ms. Birkenstock has raised objections.

  10. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    Piere, if you dont speak Spanish your not welcome in Miami, if you dont speak French your not welcome at Hollywood Beach in the Winter!

  11. Rollo Nickels Says:

    I call such BULLSHIT!! There’s no such book, there’s no such series, there’s nobody named Sandal Birkenpuss,and there sure as hell ain’t no such place as Annuckle-Hairypin school district, not even in Minnysoda. This whole damn post stinks like a meat fart. There ain’t no Mr Schwinkletoes, either. Bullshit!!

  12. Mr Schwinnkle Says:

    No their aint no Mr Schwinnlketoes you dumb ass, its Mr Schwinnkle.

  13. MadamE Says:

    Yes Mr Schwinnkle is the one in Dania stealing and hoarding all those Schwinn bicycles. Well, hoarding them anyway. Yes Mr Schwinnkle has been banned from his PC and must use MademE’s machine.

  14. circuitmouse Says:

    Decaf, everybody! I’m not sure they even HAVE decaf at David’s or Versailles (I mean, why bother?) but in this instance, I’d say, “time to kick the caffeine and take a chill pill.”

    Could you imagine a Miami children’s book along the theme of, “Ah, but you should have been here back when…”

    Revisionist memories are a human trait, (especially among Cuban emigres and Anglos in general) which like the humidity between Easter and Thanksgiving, accentuated in Miami, the town that never does ANYTHING half-assed. Except building codes. And electoral oversight. And…

  15. Born here Says:

    This is a good example of how just because you do not like a book, you can not tell people they can not read it. The Cubans in Miami are just too stuck up to assimilate. If they did they would know about freedom of speech in the Constitution of the United States of America and would show respect for the country they live in.

  16. Elian Gonzales Says:

    Born Here: Aside from your peculiar over-generalization about “the Cubans in Miami” — what, all of them? every single one thinking in complete 100% lockstep? — the issue was never telling people not read a book. It was using public funds to purchase a book for school children that contains false and painfully insensitive material. Anybody can go read it, as they can go read The Turner Diaries and other racist tracts. But there’s no good reason to use public funds to encourage school children to do so, and in fact, several very good reasons not to.

    You may disagree, of course, as do many Cubans. And others, some of whom were “born here.”

  17. themiaminewsblog.com » Says:

    […] Hey kids, the Vamos a Miami writing contest. ?Prose style must be naive, as if written for some young, impressionable pansy, but the underlying satire must be saw-toothed, with cojones.? Ha! Steve might have a head start. […]

  18. KeysLiz Says:

    We all need to get alone no matter what.
    Look at New York And Chicago. They all have their
    little downtown area..like little Italy, Chinatown,
    Etc. If people don’t like their neighborhood move to one that suits you. Simple?

  19. Bang Bang Lulu Says:

    We don’t need to get along, KeysLiz. We just need more and bigger weapons. An armed society is a polite society.

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