"Klotz" As In "Blood"

A Testament to the Insidious Impact of Florida Sunshine on Brain Matter

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Other White Meat

Filed under: Across the Fruited Plain — Steve @ 12:30 pm

HONOLULU – Two former golf club employees have been charged with theft and cruelty to animals in the death of a pet dog the owners say was cooked and eaten. Witnesses told golf club officials they saw the workers load the dog into a car and drive away at the end of their shift on Dec. 16. Both were fired after the incident.

Manuma said police told him the two men butchered and ate his pet. – Hawaii Star-Bulletin

I guess that’s illegal. I see the theft part, alright: it wasn’t their dinner dog. But if they butchered it properly (kosher style), seems it’s not as cruel as all the incidents of (mostly dog meat.jpgFloridians) who routinely have sex with their dogs. (Search “dog fuckers” on this blog for links. I’m too lazy to find them all, and besides, you probably remember!)

The report did not include any details on preparation. Stereotyping lout that I am, I envision pineapple and pine nuts, a green apple in its snout. Do dogs have drumsticks?

Moving right along….

Akron, MI – Kristen DeGroat just wanted to sell her horse to another animal lover, but her ad ended up under “Good Things to Eat” in the classified sections of two newspapers. About a third of the 60 or so calls she received were from people interested in buying horse meat.

“It’s been enough to turn your stomach,” said DeGroat, who eventually sold her 3-year-old mare, Foxy, to a man who wanted a live horse for his grandchildren. – SFSS

Is there really a “Good Things To Eat” in the classifieds? If I encountered that, I’d assume it listed sex for sale. Or, as Jim Harrison (poet and gourmand cook) once exclaimed, “Battered women? You can do that? All my life I’ve been eating them raw!”

I hate horses. I don’t mean I hate horse meat – far as I know, I’ve never had it, although god only knows what the hell they shovel into scrapple, steak sandwiches, and other staples of my home town – I mean those overgrown beshitted fly magnets with the Seinfeld faces and carrion breath. Eating them needlessly glorifies their existence. I see a horse, I think airplane glue.

Speaking of poetry (and airplane glue):

Kristen deGroat
had a mare named Foxy
She sold her to a man
who rendered her Epoxy.

Besides, this was an innocent mistake. Horsey people may be appalled that so many equine-diners took the ad at (long) face value; I find it harder to accept that people want these critters as household pets. For children, no less. And let’s not start on having children.

6 Responses to “The Other White Meat”

  1. Ms Calabaza Says:

    Damn Steve,

    I wanted to come up with something witty and snarky to commment until I clicked to the story and saw the picture of the dog. Sorry, I’m a dog lover . . . it broke my heart!

  2. Steve Says:

    I feel your pain, Ms. C. It was very cute dog. Probably tasted much better than the horse, too.

  3. tristan savatier Says:

    this photo of the dog in your post is copyrighted, and you used it without my permission.

    i ask that you either remove it, or link it to the original photo page on flickr http://flickr.com/photos/loupiote/767112545/ and that you mention: Photo (c) Tristan Savatier – http://www.loupiote.com – Used by permission.

    (the link http://www.loupiote.com must be active)

    if you do not want to do that, please remove my photo from your blog.

    thanks – please respect copyrights and give credits to other photographers when you steal their photos.

    -tristan

  4. Steve Says:

    Tristan: Thanks for your comment. I apologize for using your photo without permission. This whole media form is mysterious to me.

    I hope that your posting this message here suffices to credit you with the photo, including the link, because I don’t know how to do what you request (link it to the original photo page on flicker). If not, I’ll remove it.

    However, please understand that this blog was shut down 6 months ago, and very few people visit. I only come here every few weeks myself.

    Thanks, and my apologies, once again.

  5. tristan savatier Says:

    > This whole media form is mysterious to me.

    it’s not mysterious at all: when you use something the belong to someone elses, you are supposed to ask for permission. this applies to copyrighted photos and any other intellectal property.

    a lot of people find this page from google searches. so it is important that you include the right link and credit with the photo. instructions to credit me are here: http://blog.loupiote.com/2008/10/conditions-for-using-my-photos-on-blogs.html

    if you cannot provide a WORKING link to http://www.loupiote.com under the photo, please remove it. thanks.

    -t

  6. Steve Says:

    Tristan: Happened back here and saw your recent comment. The instructions you provided for linking made absolutely no sense to me, like reading hieroglyphics. Or calisthenics. I can’t figure out how to provide a link or a caption or anything else. So I removed it.

    As I said, this blog has been closed for some time now. But I don’t want to do anything wrong or illegal or hurtful, so it’s gone. Apologies once more.

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