Washington, PA — A woman in southwestern Pennsylvania locked her 10-year-old grandson in a feces-filled dog crate for about 90 minutes because he told his family he had been spiking their drinks with lamp oil and household cleaner, police said. Rhonda Lehman, 51, also called Washington County’s Mental Health/Mental Retardation office and said if someone wouldn’t come for the boy, she would bury him alive in the back yard, police said. — Miami Hurled
Astonishingly, when authorities came out they actually arrested Grandmom, charging her with “child endangerment and making terroristic threats.”
“This is government overkill!” fumed Thaddeus Snark, Lehman’s attorney. “What kid around here hasn’t been stuffed in a cage full of shit at some time in his life? This is farm country! Maybe those county bigwigs forgot their own damn roots!”
Snark pointed out that the 10 year old had been lacing the family’s drinks with lamp oil and a cleaner named “Bam” for quite a while. “So even if she really did say those things about burying the little bastard alive, obviously she wasn’t thinking clearly. I mean, a little shot of household cleaner on a weekend isn’t too bad, but a steady diet has been known to lead to dementia — that’s why Huckabee’s running so strong in these parts.”
Caddy-corner in the keystone state, evidence of other mischief surfaced along the interstate:
SWIFTWATER, Pa. — A woman’s severed head was found Tuesday in a trash bag along an interstate highway, one of eight bags containing body parts discovered beside expressways in northeastern Pennsylvania, authorities said.The parts are believed to belong to the same victim, and it was unclear whether all the body parts have been found, investigators said.
The first bag was found Tuesday morning near the Mount Pocono exit of Interstate 380 by a worker salting the highway, investigators said. More remains were found later Tuesday along I-80. — Miami Hurled
“Until we find a third arm or leg, we’re goin’ with the theory that it’s just one victim,” affirmed state police spokesman Clem Nosstrille. “‘Course that might be different if this was anywhere near the nuclear power plants.”