"Klotz" As In "Blood"

A Testament to the Insidious Impact of Florida Sunshine on Brain Matter

Monday, January 28, 2008

Rise to Vote, Sir

Filed under: News from the Nation's Dicktip — Steve @ 12:42 am

…which, spelled backwards, is “Rise to Vote, Sir.”vote-smart-button.jpg

I know this because I’m a founding member of member of MAD (“Mothers Against Dyslexia).”

Yes…anyway, Tuesday of this week we good citizens of Florida are supposed to do our duty and vote. Whatever. As a registered member of the Green Party, I don’t have the pleasure of voting against anybody this year, but if I could, I’d vote against Edwards and/or Romney, depending. Why don’t these two plastic panderers merge and run as one person on a third party ticket? Who would know the difference? Or give a rat’s ass?

Locally, I get to vote for the mayor and one commissioner in the Hollywood horse races. I live in District One, where four candidates are competing. The incumbent commish is Cathy Anderson, who has served for 35 straight years. Rumor is she’s borderline senile. Well, shit. I have seen her in action and heard her speak, and, in my judgment, No, she’s not borderline senile at all.

But here’s one of her competitors, Mr. Luis Prada, responding to a question in the Sun-Sentinel, about his priorities:

Q: Where in the city budget would you like to decrease and increase spending?

The budget could be immediately reduced by eliminating the use of motorcycles by the Police Department. They are not used at night or during rain or inclement weather. In addition, there is no more expensive insurance than that charged for our motorcycle fleet. — SFSS

Okay. There you are. A deep thinker, a true visionary in the spirit of Jefferson, Franklin, and Kinky Fucking Friedman. This is why Hollywood, Florida, is sometimes confused with ancient Athens, where democracy began.

Can I vote for Nader again? Please?

13 Responses to “Rise to Vote, Sir”

  1. Ms Calabaza Says:

    Kinky Fucking Friedman. My man.

  2. Mom (backwards) Says:

    You gotta be a real elohssa to make jokes about dyslexia.

  3. Commissioner Anderson Says:

    I am not senile. And did I mention I’m not senile?

  4. Hollywood Hal Says:

    I live in the same district you do. Few would seriously question that Anderson has served this community well for a long time. That said, it’s time for her to roll over already. Her performances at commission meetings are unsettling. This Prada guy is obviously not to be taken seriously, but there are two others who should. What probably happens is, Anderson wins again because her opposition is divided. Somebody will wake her up and tell her she won. (“Won What?” she’ll ask).

  5. Mr Schwinnckle Says:

    just yesterday I threw away a CASE political sign as they are running in Hollyweird and the sign was in Dania Beach. I threw it in the trash and some old fart gave me a dirty look. I told her this is Dania Beach, the election is in Hollyweird. The sign is in the wrong city and walked away. Its garbage on our city street not a political sign.

  6. Dave Says:

    In Florida you need to register as either a Democrat or Republican for the simple reason that, unlike most enlightened states in the Union, Florida won’t let you vote in the primaries otherwise. So now you are deprived of registering your protest vote. I suggest you register Tarcomed and so you can vote against the Shrillary contingent at the next primary.

    PS I voted for Nader and caught beaucoup shit from everybody too!

  7. Steve Says:

    Dave: I’m okay with the rule. Members of the party themselves SHOULD be the ones who determine who their representative is, not outsiders. If the Greens ever had a primary — what a laugh — I sure as hell wouldn’t want Dems or ‘Pubs influencing the vote.

    “Tarcomed” sounds like something one applies to ease crotch itch. And in a way, it is!

  8. Hugh Bris Says:

    Great idea, Luis! Instead of riding motorcycles, the cops could run around on foot and yell “Zoom, Zoom” while twirling their wrists like they’re shifting gears!

    Dumbfuck’s got MY vote. Probably worth a laugh a day for 4 years.

  9. Beardsley Says:

    “There is a fine line between fiction and nonfiction, and I believe Jimmy Buffett and I snorted it in 1976.” — Kinky Friedman, in NY Times Book Review, 2004
    http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/28/books/review/28FRIEDMA.html

  10. Commissioner Anderson Says:

    I support the use of motorcycles by the police to protect our citizens. I am not senile, too. Or too senile.

  11. FerfeLaBat Says:

    Who in their right mind would want to eliminate motorcycle cops? They are HAWT. I don’t even mind getting pulled over by a motorcycle cop. *fans self* Some things are more important than budgets.

  12. Calm Bobby Says:

    Check out Calm Bobby for the latest.

  13. Carlos Miller Says:

    I wonder what she’ll do when she is in dire need of a police officer, but the officer can’t get to her in his squad car because of heavy traffic, which motorcycles can easily surpass.

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