“Klotz” As In “Blood”

While the rest of the local South Florida blogoisie has been focused on the idiotic antics of the book-banning Miami-Dade School Board, which next week will continue its medieval regress to debate the virtues of installing a ducking stool for suspected witches and other lesser sinners, Washington D.C. has been pursuing an assinine agenda all its own. No coincidence that it took place on Flag Day:

‘’The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States,'’ the [proposed] amendment reads. To become the Constitution’s 28th amendment, the language must be approved by two-thirds of those present in each chamber, then ratified within seven years by at least 38 state legislatures. – NY Times (of course)

“We firmly believe that protecting the precious symbol of freedom far outstrips in importance the freedom that symbol represents,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, the bill’s co-sponsor.

“We’re confident that Americans, whose paranoia we’ve stoked for the last 5 years, are happy to forfeit their hard-won freedom for the sake of the security we’ve failed to provide them,” added Sen. Pat Roberts of Kansas. “If we need to wipe our asses with the Bill of Rights to fight Islamoterrorism, I’m ready to bend over!”

Retired Major General Patrick H. Brady, Chairman of the Board of the Citizens Flag Alliance, noted that “soiling the fabric of the flag” was tantamount to “soiling the fabric of America.” At a rally by the Capitol, the Congressional Medal of Honor winner waved away suggestions that his polyester necktie, fashioned with the stars and stripes, was tantamount to the very desecration his organization decries. “That’s not what I mean by fabric!” he fumed. “Or desecration, either!”

Reached for comment, White House spokesman Bill Bollocks confirmed the administration’s strong support. “We consider these issues essential,” he stated. “With the economy in the toilet, the ports unprotected, Iraq out of control, the Iranian crisis, FEMA hopeless, 40 million uninsured Americans, and the ruinous price of oil, we badly need to focus on irrelevant distractions like this and the Marriage Protection Amendment to maintain control of the media and voting public.”

Yeah. Sounds right. Film at 11. Now back to banning books. Let’s move fast: July 4th is right around the corner.