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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hot Tuna

Filed under: Sense & Sensuality — Steve @ 12:35 pm

Like most Americans, I spend all my leisure time in strip clubs enjoying the sight of plastic surgery victims half my age vulgarly display their flesh attempting to get people like myself sufficiently hormonally impaired to hand them money. So this study from the the University of New Mexico by Geoffrey Miller and Brent Jordan, is interesting:

While ovulating — and therefore the most fertile — strippers made an average of $30 per hour more than menstruating women and $15 per hour more than women elsewhere in their cycles. Women on the pill — who typically don’t ovulate — made significantly less than naturally cycling women overall and had no “estrus earning peak.” — NY Times

So THAT’S the secret! They’re “egging” us on, aren’t they.

The study suggests that when it comes to sexual arousal, human beings function on about the same level as alley cats. A female cat in heat attracts toms from miles away. They catsjpg.jpgsense it — the smell, the sound, the vibe of energy. It’s stronger than gravity, as addictive as pure heroin. As one of my own male cats once explained it to me years ago, “It’s not just pussy, it’s pussy pussy.”

“The findings that estrus impacts earnings could have implications for women selling cars or giving big presentations as C.E.O.’s,’’ Miller says. ‘‘Should women schedule big job interviews during certain weeks of the month? We don’t know. But maybe.”

Gentlemen: we’re cooked.

8 Responses to “Hot Tuna”

  1. Cameil Toe Says:

    Cute cats. I’ll leave it at that.

  2. Ruh Roh Says:

    I see. You talk to your cats and they talk back. And you discuss pussy. How touching. Disney meets Jenna Jameson.

  3. Mumblety Peg Says:

    Men are such pigs.

  4. Lois Terms Says:

    “The study suggests that when it comes to sexual arousal, human beings function on about the same level as alley cats.”

    Thanks for the news, but this accurate assessment has been known to women since the time of Cleopatra’s granny.

  5. Dave Says:

    Imagine getting your Ph.D chatting up strippers about the tips they get and when they ovulate! Some guys have it all figuured out!

  6. Hollywood Hal Says:

    Dave, I had the exact same thought. These guys are so much smarter than I am I feel guilty about walking upright.

  7. http://maple4x4.com/ Says:

    I could watch Schindler’s List and still be happy after reading this.

  8. Kent Standit Says:

    Hal: You walk upright?

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