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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Daily Dose of Duh

Filed under: Sense & Sensuality — Steve @ 8:46 am

Who’duh thunk it? But now there’s a Study proving it:

St. Louis, MO A clinical diagnosis of alcohol dependence in young adults is associated with having a high number of sex partners, U.S. researchers found.

First author Patricia Cavazos-Rehg of Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, found alcohol dependence had the most influence on the number of sex partners. The study, published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, found that of those alcohol dependent, 45 percent reported having 10 or more sexual partners. — UPI

picnic_drunk.jpgWell, shut my mouth. Drinking leads to casual (and careless) sex. I had no idea. How come nobody ever told that plying women with booze would increase the long odds of my getting some trim?

See if I ever bother taking my dates to Art Basel ever again. (See, readers? I managed to sneak in an Art Basel reference so I could claim to run a “cultural” blog.)

Presumably this study was conducted for the benefit of the naive and unsuspecting public. As a warning to patrons of singles bars, frat houses, night clubs, etc. who might not appreciate the value danger of imbibing in the company of nookie scorers.

This is such a major breakthrough I think it ought to become part of health and sex education classes’ curriculum. Shouldn’t we be informing kids about alcohol and sex? And how is it that the churches aren’t warning their parishioners? You never hear about sermons addressing the evils of drink and dangers of sex, do you?

Researchers plan a follow-up study to determine whether excessive alcohol consumption leads to Whiskey Dick, defeating the purpose of excessive alcohol consumption. “We’re processing the grant proposal this week,” beamed WUSM Professor Jack Daniels. “There’s gold in dem dar hills!”

I’m heading out to St Louis to volunteer for the Control Group.

6 Responses to “Daily Dose of Duh”

  1. glennk Says:

    Can u get me a grant to study this issue a bit closer? ;(

  2. Dave Says:

    Given the picture, I assume this subject had to estimate the number of passerbys that had their way with her. How accurate can that be?

  3. Scott Says:

    Seriously, why aren’t I ever told of these studies ahead of time? I am SOOOO on the wrong newsletter subscriptions.

  4. Fred Upp Says:

    You’re in a lot of trouble, asshole, unless you actually got permission from my sister to run her photo.

  5. Steve Says:

    Fred, you have a sister, too? What’s her name? Ankles? Butch? Fucked?

  6. Mark Upp Says:

    For the love of God, Fred!! We don’t even have a sister. Why would you say such a thing? Are you off your meds AGAIN? Steve: can you delete all this? Fred’s out of his mind. Again. Still. Shit.

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