HONOLULU – Two former golf club employees have been charged with theft and cruelty to animals in the death of a pet dog the owners say was cooked and eaten. Witnesses told golf club officials they saw the workers load the dog into a car and drive away at the end of their shift on Dec. 16. Both were fired after the incident.
Manuma said police told him the two men butchered and ate his pet. – Hawaii Star-Bulletin
I guess that’s illegal. I see the theft part, alright: it wasn’t their
dinner dog. But if they butchered it properly (kosher style), seems it’s not as cruel as all the incidents of (mostly Floridians) who routinely have sex with their dogs. (Search “dog fuckers” on this blog for links. I’m too lazy to find them all, and besides, you probably remember!)
The report did not include any details on preparation. Stereotyping lout that I am, I envision pineapple and pine nuts, a green apple in its snout. Do dogs have drumsticks?
Moving right along….
Akron, MI – Kristen DeGroat just wanted to sell her horse to another animal lover, but her ad ended up under “Good Things to Eat” in the classified sections of two newspapers. About a third of the 60 or so calls she received were from people interested in buying horse meat.
“It’s been enough to turn your stomach,” said DeGroat, who eventually sold her 3-year-old mare, Foxy, to a man who wanted a live horse for his grandchildren. – SFSS
Is there really a “Good Things To Eat” in the classifieds? If I encountered that, I’d assume it listed sex for sale. Or, as Jim Harrison (poet and gourmand cook) once exclaimed, “Battered women? You can do that? All my life I’ve been eating them raw!”
I hate horses. I don’t mean I hate horse meat – far as I know, I’ve never had it, although god only knows what the hell they shovel into scrapple, steak sandwiches, and other staples of my home town – I mean those overgrown beshitted fly magnets with the Seinfeld faces and carrion breath. Eating them needlessly glorifies their existence. I see a horse, I think airplane glue.
Speaking of poetry (and airplane glue):
She sold her to a man
Besides, this was an innocent mistake. Horsey people may be appalled that so many equine-diners took the ad at (long) face value; I find it harder to accept that people want these critters as household pets. For children, no less. And let’s not start on having children.