The vice president made a daylong hunting trip on Monday to the Clove Valley Rod and Gun Club, an exclusive mountainside establishment on 4,000 acres in Union Vale, N.Y., about 15 miles east of Poughkeepsie, in Dutchess County. Mr. Cheney arrived at the club about 8 a.m. and left about 4:30 p.m. The State Police posted cars at the access roads to the club, preventing visitors from discovering exactly how he spent those hours. — NY Times
Everybody remembers the 2006 hunting trip, when Darth accidentally shot his buddy Harry Whittington in the face. But a day later, this time it appears that nobody was injured, except for a few pheasants. Which brings us to the comments by my old scout troop leader, still haunting the hills of northwestern New Jersey.
That ain’t hunting!” declares Harrison “Buck” Shott. “Those are pen-raised birds. Day before he gets there they loose ’em in the woods where they never even been before. Might as well be shooting parakeets! Hunters my wrinkly red scrotum.”
How do you really feel about it, Buck?
“I know some security people up that way,” he goes on. “Talked to them last night. They say Cheney and his crowd don’t give a damn about hunting and sport shooting anyway. They just like firing weapons and killing things, the bigger the better. One tells me Cheney’s aide says something like, ‘The Vice President suffers a lot of stress and he finds the sound of gunfire and the sight of a writhing, bleeding animal very soothing and relaxing.‘ Therapeutic killing.”
The smell of napalm in the morning.
“Hell, those birds don’t know enough to flush until you walk right up to ’em and kick ’em in the tail feathers. He pulled the same shit a couple years ago the time he shot that lawyer in the face, but the accident — ha! — was the story. It’s called a ‘canned hunt,’ and it’s about as sporting as pissing in the wind.”
Hey, at least the lawyer knew enough to duck and cover.
“I didn’t hear who went with him this time, but rumor was there were some FEMA people there, including the guys who got caught in that fake press conference. You know anything about that?”
I tell him I’ll keep an eye out, and we hang up.
I don’t hunt — it’s not a great idea for people with poor eyesight who are also clumsy around tools and appliances to handle firearms — but if I did, I’d do it for sport, not to accumulate dead animals. I don’t get the joy of killing for the sake of killing. There’s something fake, not to mention cowardly, cruel, and just distasteful, about this set-up.
Guess I’d make as lousy a psychopath as I would a conservative Republican.